


Voice

by ThatClarinetPlayingHetalian



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Based on that one scene in Two Player Game, Dysphoria, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Trans Male Character, Trans Michael, Trans Michael Mell, boyf riends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 19:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14432931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatClarinetPlayingHetalian/pseuds/ThatClarinetPlayingHetalian
Summary: Based on the speaking part in Two Player Game when Jeremy's dad comes in the room and asks if Jeremy is in there with a girl.Michael is trans and gets dysphoric after Jer's dad mistakes his voice for a girl's voice.I'm terrible at writing summaries, please read it!





	Voice

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! First, I'd like to state that I am actually a trans guy and this is based upon my own personal experiences with dysphoria. This is my first ever fanfic that I've actually finished so constructive criticism is appreciated. Also, I've had this idea ever since I saw that one bootleg and heard those lines and I never saw anyone else write about it so here you go. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you don't think it's terrible!

“Zombie! Watch out,” Jeremy yelled, falling onto his knees in front of his beanbag chair.

“Blood!” They screamed in unison, Michael joining Jeremy on the floor.

“Jeremy!” 

“Claws!” The boys yelled again.

“Jeremy,” Mr. Heere yelled again, beating Jeremy’s door with a fist.

“Pause,” both boys groaned, Michael slumping down over his knees in defeat.

“Is that a girl? Are you in here with a girl,’” Mr. Heere asked.

Michael shot up, his ears going red as he adjusted his hoodie uncomfortably. He pulled at the front of his hoodie, praying that his chest was completely covered. As per Jeremy’s reminder he had removed his binder, having worn it for thirteen hours the day before.

“Oh,” Mr. Heere shifted uncomfortably, “Hey, Michael.”

With that, the topic had passed, Jeremy bickering with his father about the importance of wearing pants and Mr. Heere arguing back that there were only men in the house. For Michael, though, Mr. Heere’s words were still echoing in his head. 

Girl. Girl. Is that a girl? He knew that his voice was still high pitched. It’s not like he could help it until he was finally able to start testosterone. It wasn’t his fault that his father was unaccepting and his mother was too busy to care. 

He already hated himself enough. He hated his chest. He hated his hips. He hated his curves. He hated that he didn’t have a dick like a cis guy. He hated that he had to hear his birth-name every day in school and at home. But his voice was a whole new level of hatred. It was still high pitched and, in his opinion, kinda squeaky. It definitely couldn’t pass as a man’s voice. 

“Michael?” 

Jeremy’s voice startled him out of his thoughts, reminding him that he was not in his room.

“Are you okay?” Jeremy asked, “I saw you adjust your hoodie and zone out.”

Michael nodded,looking down at his hands. He didn’t want to hear his voice. It was too feminine. Even the people who knew and respected him had mixed up his voice for a girls voice. Until he started testosterone, he wouldn’t be able to escape it. Hell, even after he started he’d have to wait months for his voice to be completely settled.

“Mike,” Jeremy said softly, “Is this about what my dad said?”

MIchael shrugged, still looking away from his friend.

“I’m taking that as a yes,” Jeremy said, “What can I do to help you? Do you need to vent?”

Michael shook his head.

“You can text it to me if you need to,” Jeremy reassured him, “You know I won’t force you to talk.”

Michael thought for a moment before pulling his phone out of his hoodie pocket. He typed his message carefully, trying to find the exact words to describe his feelings. A few moments later, Jeremy’s phone went off.

I just hate my voice. Even your dad still mistakes me for a girl and he’s known me for 12 years. Everyone still comments on it being high or on how I sound like a girl. I don’t need to be reminded, ya know? I know that I have a girly voice and I know that I sound like all of the girls that we go to school with and I know that my body isn’t right just I know, I know, I KNOW! I’m tired of hearing it and sometimes I think it would be better if I was just mute! Maybe i wouldn’t have to get dysphoric all the fucking time.

Jeremy read the text silently before turning back to his friend.

“Michael,” he started, “Your voice doesn’t make you any less of a man. You can’t help the voice you were born with. Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean that other people feel the same. I actually like your voice. Wait that sounded weird didn’t it? I don’t mean it like I won’t like it when it changes, though! Shit, I’ll still like your voice! That came out wrong, didn’t it?”

Michael couldn’t keep frowning while Jeremy rambled on. He laughed, quietly at first, before just laughing hysterically. He gripped at his sides as Jeremy’s face grew redder and redder.

“It’s not funny,” Jeremy stuttered, “I’m serious! I didn’t mean it in, like, a creepy way. I mean it like you’re my best friend and I really like listening to you talk! Shit, that sounded even creepier! You just have a nice voice and I like it when you talk to me or when you sing in the car and fuck I sound like such a gay mess.”

“So you sound like me?” Michael couldn’t resist the opportunity to make a shitty joke.

“Wait,” Jeremy said slowly, “You did not just say that.”

With that, both the boys were laughing like complete idiots; falling over each other and wiping their eyes. Michael was still dysphoric but he could also see that he had the most amazing best friend in the whole world. Yeah, the dysphoria would never go away completely, but at least he had a friend who loved him.


End file.
